Posted in posts by you

The Effects Of Abuse Don’t End When The Abuse Does

The Effects Of Abuse Don’t End When The Abuse Does

By Anonymous

Your Words… My Words…

I breathed a sigh of relief when you left. When I told you I would no longer tolerate your verbal and emotional abuse.

I felt free.

It was a tough decision to make, and it took me a very long time to muster the courage, but as soon as I did I immediately felt a freedom that I had not felt for a long time.

A weight lifted.

There has been one unexpected hiccough though.

You’re still here. In my head.

Your voice still haunts me in my weakest moments. When I feel unsure of myself and my abilities, or I’m tired, emotional or hormonal, your voice returns.

It tells me all that you used to tell me.

It tells me that I am not good enough, that I’m a fake and everyone will soon find that out. It tells me that I am stupid, incapable, useless, ugly, pathetic, childish, needy and ridiculous.

The more tired, stressed or unsure I become, the louder it shouts.

The louder it shouts, the more tired, stressed and unsure I become.

I try to ignore it but it persists, louder and louder. Until all I can hear inside my head, screaming and drowning everything else out, is your voice, your words.

The words that broke me.
The words that stole my soul and destroyed my self esteem.
The words you used to control me, to belittle me, to hold me back from living my fullest life.
The words that stole away my happiness and killed the joy in my heart.

Your words. In my head.

And most terrifying thing of all, the thing that was the least expected, the thing that ensures that I cannot break free yet is that…

Your words are now in my voice.

I have internalised your criticisms and made them my own.

Your words have become my words. Your voice has become my voice.

This is the damage that you did.

And each time I hear them in the confines of my own head, even though you are no longer here, I have to repair my damaged heart and soul.

Time and time again.

This is the legacy that you have left behind.

Thanks for reading.

* * *

Verbal and Emotional abuse are forms of abuse that can cause untold damage to a person emotionally and psychologically. Domestic abuse does not just involve physical abuse, it can manifest in many forms. Often a physically abusive relationships will have been emotionally abusive for many years before anything physical happened. Emotional and verbal abuse often never turns into physical abuse.

Abuse damages in whatever form it takes and here at Many Small Voices we hope to gather the stories of those who have survived abuse into one resource to help and support those who are still victims. We also hope to support survivors through recovery once the abuse has stopped because the scars are still there and will remain forever. Support after abuse is just as important.

We are not experts, just people who are passionate that domestic abuse, in whatever form it takes, must be stopped.

If you think you or someone you know needs help please take a look in our links page to find a list of organisations that strive to help support victims of abuse.

We are looking for your stories of abuse to feature on our blog and make many small voices one LOUD voice. We will protect your anonymity at all times should you wish to remain anonymous, so please contact us for more details.

Many Small Voices To Make One Big Voice Speaking Out Against Domestic Abuse.

Advertisements

Author:

A network committed to speaking out about domestic abuse and offering support. Many small voices can make one big voice.

10 thoughts on “The Effects Of Abuse Don’t End When The Abuse Does

  1. Thank you so much for posting this. I’m a survivor of Domestic Abuse and am currently writing a blog to document my adventure in recovery – and hopefully to provide encouragement and support to others who have lived through similar times.

    I’m going to reblog this post as I feel it relevant to my own thoughts and feelings.

    With peace, love and empathy

    Em xxx

      1. That’s really encouraging, thank you!

        Another reason I decided to start my blog…I was getting frustrated with the conflicting information I found when I did my own research online. I made the mistake of questioning the source of some information on a Men’s Rights site and quickly found myself set upon. I’m still getting notifications that they’re chatting away about my audacity and calling me a troll!

        I have to admit, I’m not particularly upset by this. The upshot was, I decided to try and collate useful information for survivors of abuse in one place, and write about my own experiences where I feel it useful.

        I’m very well, thanks for asking. I have good days and bad. Didn’t sleep very well last night, but I’m feeling creative at the moment and that always gets my brain buzzing! Today is my Boxercise day, so I should definitely run some excess energy off and try to get to bed at a decent hour tonight.

        Ironically, I decided yesterday that today’s blog is going to be about helping sleep patterns settle down after going through abuse…I’ll be taking my own advice!

        Hope you have a great day 🙂

        Em

  2. Thank you for bringing this to light. Abuse of any type, by anyone, transcends race and gender. As a mental health professional, I’ve seen that emotional abuse often takes longer to heal, as the scars are invisible – much better hidden. Thank you for making a positive difference in the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s