What is love?
- Love doesn’t criticise, use cruel or harsh words or stop you from being your true self. It doesn’t ‘knock you down a peg or two’, it doesn’t want you to fail.
- Love doesn’t hurt, or denigrate, or leave you alone.
- Love doesn’t ignore you when you’re in the same room or leave you crying in the small hours wondering how you managed to upset him/her again.
- Love doesn’t try to confuse you, tell you that you said something you didn’t, or didn’t do something you did. It has no desire to deceive you.
- Love doesn’t scream at you or shout at you. It doesn’t insult you or call you names.
- Love doesn’t cross your boundaries and make you feel that you need to defend yourself.
- Love isn’t jealous. It isn’t controlling.
- Love isn’t sulky or moody or angry or frightening.
- Love doesn’t lie, or twist the truth. It doesn’t make promises it has no intention of keeping. It doesn’t treat you badly then deny it.
- Love doesn’t expect you to be available on demand.
- Love doesn’t tell you you’re too stupid to manage without their ‘help’.
- Love doesn’t make you feel guilty for doing something you enjoy, even if they can’t see the merit.
- Love doesn’t hit you or pinch you too hard only to laugh at your pain and say ‘I was only playing’.
- Love doesn’t own or possess you.
- Love doesn’t tell you you’re worthless because you’ve been a stay at home Mum instead of working and earning and ‘paying your way’.
- Love doesn’t make you feel as though your opinion counts for nothing.
Love shouldn’t hurt.
Real love heals, supports and feels good.
- Love is kind and gentle.
- Love is accepting and sweet.
- Love holds you when you need it and when you don’t. Picks you up when you fall and giggles with you when you’re daft, but never judges.
- Love knows you’re not perfect, but loves you and accepts you for who you are.
- Love is tender and treats you gently when you’re fragile.
- Love helps you to be your best, it lets you follow your dreams.
- Love let’s you go out with the girls and says ‘have a good time.’
…and means it…
- Love tells you to get out there and try something new, even though you’ve never done it before.
- Love is strong, supportive and helps you to feel like you can do anything.
- Love tells the truth even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult.
- Love makes a cup of tea and looks after the kids when you’re ill.
- Love holds your hand when you cry, even if it’s just at that sad advert on the telly.
- Love adores the way you look, you’re hot.
- Love thinks you’re funny and laughs at your jokes instead of tries to better them.
- Love sees your talents and encourages you to use them.
- When love looks at you, you can only see the love in their eyes, there’s no agenda or ulterior motive.
Love is equal. Love is safe.
If you don’t feel safe, it isn’t love.
Abuse happens in all kinds of relationships, though abusers are often men and victims are often women, we know very well that this is not always the case.
Abuse is often hard to recognise. Here at MSV we hope to help victims realise they are in abusive relationships and empower them to take safe action.
By sharing our stories we hope that others can find the strength to help themselves and get support from relevant agencies.
We are looking for your stories of abuse to feature. Many small voices make one LOUD voice.
Domestic abuse damages in whatever form and here at Many Small Voices we gather the stories of those who have survived abuse into one resource to help and support those who are still victims. We also hope to support survivors through recovery once the abuse has stopped because the scars are still there and will remain forever. Support after abuse is just as important.
We are not experts, just people who are passionate that domestic abuse, in whatever form it takes, must be stopped.
If you think you or someone you know needs help please take a look in our links page to find a list of organisations that strive to help support victims of abuse.