About Us

We are committed to speaking out about domestic abuse and offering support, with the idea that many small voices can make one big voice.

We’re not ‘experts’ just people who have experienced abuse and are passionate about helping others.

Domestic abuse happens to all kinds of people in all kinds of relationships. There is no formula. Men abuse women, women abuse men, lesbian and gay relationships experience abuse, rich or poor, married or not. Abuse can happen to the strongest most successful of people or the tired mother at home. Abusers can look like the stereotypical abuser or they can look like the best, kindest, sweetest most thoughtful partner in the world.

There are no rules.

All we know for sure is that domestic abuse is usually very well hidden

Many suffer from domestic abuse for many years in silence. Unable to tell friends and family through shame, or a feeling of embarrassment that they have done something wrong or made bad choices.

This is not the case.

Abuse is a choice made by the abuser. It can stop, it should stop, but many abusers are unable to do so, unwilling to do so, and do not view their behaviour as wrong.

It is wrong.

Domestic abuse certainly isn’t always physical.

Emotional abuse always happens before any physical abuse, often for many years and in most cases never even leads to physical violence. Emotional abuse leaves emotional scars and causes unimaginable pain, but it’s not easy to recognise.

By speaking up and telling our stories, sharing our experiences, then maybe we can find a better life and help others find a better life too.

If you’d like to write for us, share your story or experiences, or simply share a resource or link you feel could be useful to someone then please contact us. We welcome anonymous posts and will protect your identity and anonymity at all times.

If you’d like to contribute or offer support in any way then please email us at smallvoicesspeakingout@gmail.com


8 thoughts on “About Us

  1. You have a wonderful site here! One of my followers on Twitter shared your link with me suggesting that this would be a good place to share my blog. I have my autobiography done on a blog so I don’t know if that is for this site or not. Keep up the great work, wish there were more places like this for people to get help!

  2. The website is really well done. It’s been nearly 2 years since I split from my ex and I still feel like I am seeking solace and understanding. I do feel often, when reading posts by fellow suffers, that I am not alone.
    I went to the freedom program for a year but I stopped going when the sessions became more harrowing than helpful. At some point they turn that corner and it becomes harmful instead of healing. So I left the comfort of that society and ventured out alone.
    The problem I have found is that despite my ex moving on with someone else he still contacts me using our son as his bargaining chip and despite me being armed with information I talk to him every time he phones.
    I feel like I’m going mad. I discuss with family and friends the conversation that starts off being about our son and eventually turns to me, my life, loves etc. Do I need the vindication from him? Some sort of nod from him that I am doing well? Praise?
    If so why? It was hardly a common occurrence in our relationship.
    In January it was the 3rd anniversary of my abortion. My ex forced me to have it. My son was 5 months old and he said I either had one at the hospital or he would throw me down the stairs of our block of flats, we lived at the top on the 6th floor. Either way the baby would be gone – irrespective of what happened to me. I feel guilt that I went through with it, guilt that I stayed, guilt that I loved a monster, guilt that he will be around forever, guilt that I didn’t report more of the incidences, guilt that i reported what I did so late – faded bruises. Only one of the four charges made it to court.
    Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
    This is followed closely by the if I had scenarios. Killer.
    Yet I still answer the phone to him. Every time. Any ideas why?.

    1. I think the why is hope–misguided, in the wrong place, a quality you desperately need but misapplied. But you need hope, a vision of forgiveness of yourself even if it is just forgiving yourself for feeling you deserve a better past. You already have a better future. Even your comment had a positive effect on me, a total stranger who needed your truth.

      Try not to think that there is some big indelible why. Tell yourself: I am on the path to not picking up the phone. In fact, tell yourself: I have already used my pain to help prevent future pain in myself and in the world around me.

  3. The abuser never see themselves as ever being accountable or wrong. They see themselves as being fully justifiable in what they’re doing.. They manipulate people, lie and tell exaggerated stories where there is no truth to most of them, to get what they want to take the focus off of them and for them to feel better and supported and in turn cause you grief and hurt. They don’t communicate, they only try to undermine you so they can have control. I think the theory of strength in numbers and when creating a smear campaign isn’t strength at all. The victim that is getting attacked in all directions is the stronger one. The Apaths are working on stories they’ve been told and to find out more information. They don’t have the foresight to make the decision to not get involved or have their own opinion but help aid in the vicious cycle of bullying the real victim. How many people does it take to attack the poor victim and pull them apart? It’s pathetic.
    I was bullied during my depression and it has made me stronger to find that inner happiness. I have also suffered anger due to my experiences and I was also bullied and pushed by some people to get angry so I would appear crazy. Even when going through therapy I have been harassed. I have since cut most people off so I no longer have to deal with them. This was at the hands of apaths that felt justified in performing such horrid acts. It’s made me more aware of my own life and how I need to work on building my inner happiness.

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